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自从20世纪50年代以来,动物克隆不断取得进展,青蛙、老鼠先后被成功克隆.1996年,克隆羊“多莉”出世,野牛、猫、狗等也先后被克隆.动物克隆是科学进步的表现,具有很大的医学价值.但是,克隆动物仍有诸多问题,引起了许多异议.你本人也对动物克隆有许多担心.请根据所学知识,以An article of argument为题写一篇100字左右的短文陈述自己的观点.
[写作策划]
1. 文体特征.从题目要求可以看出,我应根据所学的克隆知识写一篇辩论性短文,即论说文.因此,必须做到“先提出观点,然后逐步论证,最后归纳总结,有效结论”.
2. 人称特征.素材要求写出“你本人也对动物克隆有许多担心”,可能会用到第一人称I,但是不宜多用,否则显得过于主观；应以第三人称为主.
3. 时态特征.观点陈述部分宜用现在时态,列举实例部分宜用过去时态,而推理部分应用将来时态.
4. 写作重点.素材要求写出“你本人也对动物克隆有许多担心”,所以这个部分应该以“动物克隆已经带来和可能带来的问题”为主.动物克隆的好处顺带略写,显得公正、客观.
5. 亮点策划.遵循议论文“立论、论证、结论”的三段式规律；总论点和分论点明确,论证过程清晰有力；有目的地选择克隆现有动物、克隆灭绝的动物和克隆人这三种情况存在的问题,使自己的观点更科学、更具有代表性；用好连词,过渡自然；“动物克隆”是一个科学话题,注意用好专业词汇和相应的表达方式,语言不能过于口语化；因“动物克隆”这个课题目前还处于探讨争论阶段,会有一些推理陈述,用好虚拟语气会增强表达效果.
习作1
With the development of cloning technology, more and more animals have been successfully cloned, which is a sign of high-technology and very beneficial to us human beings, especially to curing terrible diseases.
But each coin has its two sides. As far as I am concerned, there also exist some problems. First of all, Cloned animals may get ill and even die easily.That is why Dolly the sheep just lived half as long. Secondly, it is of little use to cloning extinct animals, because there isn’t a natural habitat they need. What is worse, there are moral problems because cloning technology may be used to produce human beings. It’s really difficult for us to tell the relationship between the cloned persons and the original ones, and some evil leaders may clone themselves to attain their ambitions.
In a word, cloning animals may not only break the balance of nature, but also destroy the harmony of society. Valuable as cloning is, but we must make laws to prevent it from being abused.
亮點赏析
1. 全文分段合理,层次分明,过渡自然,详略得当；语言流畅,表达专业、地道；“立论、论证、结论”清晰有序,佐证有力；分论点和例证有代表性,说服力强.
2. But each coin has its two sides. As far as I am concerned, there also exist some problems是一个很好的过渡句,既有格言,又恰如其分地使用了两个好句型：as far as I am concerned （表达个人主观看法）,there also exist（体现客观存在）.
3. 第一段既是背景交代,也客观体现出克隆动物的好处；First of all,Secondly,What is worse,In a word贯穿全文,体现出清晰的思路.使用What is worse,而不用thirdly, 效果更佳,说明这是一个更令人担忧的问题.
4. 最后一段的总结、结论很好,能够上升到自然平衡和社会和谐的高度；we must make laws to prevent it from being abused作为结束语,层次很高；prevent it from being abused既是好短语,又能体现作者的结论是理性的,起到了锦上添花的效果.
瑕疵探讨
1. it is of little use to cloning extinct animals中,it是形式主语,to cloning应改为to clone（不定式短语作真正的主语）.
2. Valuable as cloning is, but we must make laws to prevent it from being abused.句中的but应去掉,因为前面使用了as（尽管）.
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